If you're going to fall in love with me, here are some things you should know:
I don't like storms. Every time I hear thunder, my heart pounds just as loud as a crack of lightning. I think of being home alone, hiding with the pets in the bathtub, seeking shelter from tornados. I think of devastation on the news and my trembling hands and not feeling safe anywhere. But I hope I can feel safe with you.
I want your family to like me. I want to be best friends with your mom, because I need blackmail and an ally if you ever make me mad. I want your sisters to be my own. I want your dad to take me shooting just so I can impress him. I want your brothers to be the younger siblings that I never had. I want you and me and them to be a family — our family.
I like candles. I want our future home to smell loved. I want people to walk in and know that we take care of each other. I need you to water my plants — because in all likelihood, I'll forget. Even if I don't, I'll probably kill them anyways. I want to print out all of our Instagram pictures and have them line our wall. I want comfy couches and cute rugs and to sit and cuddle with you and the cat until the three of us fall asleep.
I have spent so long being the chaser. I have put my all into every boy I'm interested in. I don't mind, but sometimes, a girl likes to feel special. Make me see how badly you'll work for me. Buy me pizza and Swig and wash my dishes. Become friends with my friends and remember the little things. Surprise me and love me. Really, genuinely love me. That's all I ask.
Take me on picnics. Make me soak in the sun and your smile. Let's eat crappy sandwiches that we made and drink ice cold water. Let's throw the frisbee for our dog and laugh until our stomachs hurt. We can drive with the windows down and serenade each other and wave to strangers walking their dogs as ours barks eagerly in the backseat. Let's enjoy the simple things together. Let's be in love for always.
I'm kind of a mess. I cry for no reason and I'm always tired. I want to be that fun adventurous girl but mostly I just take baths and naps. Make me go out and do things. But also don't be upset if I just want to eat Korean BBQ in leggings while watching a Disney princess movie.
I need your words of affirmation more than anything. Even if I deny it, tell me I'm beautiful. Remind me how much you love me always. Tell me what you like about me and why you need me. Your words are my love language (other than food). That's how you can show me you love me and that's how I'll know.
I hope we last. I'm sure I love you, I just don't know how much yet. Let's stayed committed to our relationship. Let's always kiss goodnight and laugh together. Let's keep our love alive. I want this to last forever. I need it to. Don't you ever give up on us — because if you do, remember that your mom gave me blackmail on you.