Growing Up Is Really Scary

January 11, 2017

Sometimes I just wish I could pause time — or even reverse it.
I wish my sister were still alive and I appreciated her more while she was. I wish I hadn't spent my fifth grade allowance to buy a Christmas gift for a boy I had a crush on. I wish my hair looked as good as it did circa 2000. I wish I were still 18 and excited to start BYU, oblivious to how difficult the next three years would be. Being an adult is the worst thing that has ever happened to me.
But at the same time, being an adult is the best thing that's ever happened to me. I get to kiss boys. I get to give myself whatever allowance I want, and I get to buy MYSELF Christmas presents. I get to learn about things and tell my parents I love them and really get to know people. I get to go on road trips and vote in the presidential election. And I've learned to love myself more than 13-year-old me — who told a boy she liked him and he responded "ew, you're ugly" — could've ever imagined. And I'm pretty sure I'm connected with that boy on LinkedIn now and he's probably a bum.
Basically what I'm trying to say is that you need to be patient. Have hope. Things may seem like they're crashing down, but you can build them back up. I know you can. Sometimes you have to rebuild over and over again, but that's the beautiful part of life — you get to decide what yours is going to be. Just don't take it for granted.

Yours truly,

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