A Letter to Current Me

March 22, 2017

Stop doubting yourself. Stop doubting every decision you make. Stop doubting the things you create and the life that you live.

Things will work out how they're meant to. You don't need to stress about people not being madly in love with you (because you only need mad love from yourself). You need not worry either about those who slowly crawl out of your life. It's okay to feel lost. You'll find where you're meant to be and who you're meant to become.

You are a storm. You are so powerful. You are seen and you are heard and you have the capacity to make people listen. You are a leader and a change-maker.

You're beautiful, even when you don't feel like it. Your body is soft and round and that's okay. Your teeth are crooked but your smile is magnificent. Your hair may be greasy and tangled, but there's no denying your divinity.

Your struggle is relatable. Every pain in your heart and every broken piece of your soul helps you become closer with those around you. I know it's hard, but try not to push people away. That's not how life is meant to be lived.

It's okay to be tired. It's okay to be tired of people and tired of responsibility and tired of cooking and tired of cleaning your cat's litter box. But just because you're tired doesn't mean you can ignore those things forever. You can sleep your life away but they'll always creep back upon you. Don't let that scare you too much, and don't forget to take the time to laugh every now and then.

Your authenticity is unique and enticing. People have never met someone like you before and that has influence. You are honest and open and direct, and although that can get you into trouble sometimes, it's a strength. Don't let anyone take that away from you, because that is how you'll change the world.

You're hurting. In all honesty, you probably always will be. You will be forgotten and you will be pushed around and taken for granted. You will be exhausted and unmotivated, but just know how much your cat loves you and relies upon you. Just know how much you can rely upon yourself. Don't let anyone stop your rolling thunder and your eternal courage.

Don't forget the past. Don't forget how far you've come (even when you've had to take some steps back). Don't forget that boys want to date you (maybe) and 14 year old girls want to be you (probably). Don't forget the heartbreak that has made you you and how funny your tweets are. Don't forget to be kind to yourself too, because you deserve it just as much as everyone else.

Don't be afraid. You will succeed how you are meant to. You will get to pet lots of dogs and climb mountains (literally and figuratively). You will get to love and hurt and heal. This whole life is a privilege. Don't ever forget that.

Yours truly,

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  1. I looooove your blog McKay. :D Sometimes I think you're actually me writing to/about me because I can relate so much!