Life Through My Lens

August 18, 2017

Always, but especially lately, I've hesitated before posting another picture on Instagram or sharing another post on Facebook.

I know that I share a lot of pictures.

I got my first digital camera when I was in 4th grade, and after that, until phones actually got good cameras, I literally always had a digital camera on me. I have always photographed my life.

The computer that my family had from probably about when I got my camera in 4th grade to about the end of high school died. My dad is very brilliant and is an engineer, so he is good with technology. He can't fix it. I think he's taken it in places as well, and everything on it is gone.

Thousands of pictures taken by 10, 11, 12 year old me are gone. Pictures with my best friend Alex from the years we still lived in the same state. Pictures of and with my sister -- although I'm sure they were few and far between.

I was talking to my boyfriend about this yesterday, and I mentioned that all of my Harry Potter dress-ups are on there. When I literally was Harry for Halloween. When my Mom made a legit, feather-trimmed Rita Skeeter costume that I wore to a midnight book release. All of the midnight movie releases I went to with friends and family are gone. And I started sobbing.

I am that annoyingly sentimental person who keeps tickets to the movies. I have programs from school events and little sticky notes people wrote me. I keep it all. And I will say, I do have a bad long-term memory it seems. I don't know if it is just because I've blocked out bad stuff, but I don't remember as much from my childhood as I'd like. And I wish I had those pictures to help me.

But because of Facebook, I have that random selfie with my sister that we took while waiting in the car while our mom grocery shopped. I have pictures of me and Sloan matching outfits year after year after year. I have pictures of that birthday when like four friends brought me balloons to school. And most importantly, I have those awkward, way-too-photoshopped mirror selfies from the MySpace days. And I don't regret sharing all these back then one bit.

So, I'm sorry if I'm a nuisance on your news feed. I have 30+ hidden Facebook albums from the beginning of 8th grade that I still look through. I'm not friends with a lot of the same people, even from a few years ago, but I like to remember. I know I post a lot, but social media is basically my digital scrapbook now. It's safe and always there for me to look back on. So be patient with me. Or if I'm that annoying (can't blame you), unfollow me. Because this is who I am and this is my life. Thanks for sharing it with me.

Yours truly,

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