How You Know You're an Adult

December 12, 2017

  • You check the mail every day
  • You work out on a semi-regular basis (and don't die walking up one flight of stairs)
  • You have your emails sorted into distinct folders
  • You have your social security number memorized
  • You buy more than one-ply toilet paper
  • You have less than 50 unread emails in your inbox
  • You think that 2007 was like 3 years ago
  • You start getting tired at like 9 PM
  • You own matching dishware
  • You bought yourself a vacuum (meaning you care if there are bobby pins on the floor before you use it)
  • You change your sheets after a reasonable amount of time
  • You own a pair of (fairly) nice sunglasses
  • You cook most of your meals yourself
  • You buy the generic brand of just about everything
  • You don't freak out too much when you see a bug crawling on your wall (and just kill it instead)
  • You sleep in anything larger than a twin-sized bed
  • You have an up-to-date LinkedIn profile (and you don't use your high school senior pics)
  • You enjoy getting new socks
  • You know where the closest post office is
  • You don't listen to live pop radio
  • You're a registered voter and are active in the election process
  • You realize that the current famous celebrities are younger than you
  • You have Urban Dictionary bookmarked
  • You have a budget and sort of stick to it
  • Your résumé is ready to go at the drop of a hat
  • You enjoy reading non-fiction books
Yours truly,

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