Time DOESN'T Heal

June 14, 2018

Here's the bad news: time does not heal. Time merely provides the means by which you become used to your new life. Maybe your boyfriend of two weeks dumped you or maybe your sister died. Maybe you gave a child up for adoption or maybe you dropped an ice cream cone. More often than not, time will not erase your feelings of loss and emptiness. It just gets you used to living with those things and finding a way to endure despite them. It helps you get out of bed every day, even when you're in pain. It helps you put a bandaid on your soul, but the scar is still there. It helps you find your new "normal."
The good news? Time can still be your friend. Time can help you hear a song your sister used to blast in the car and not have a complete and total mental breakdown. Time can help you to not have to take the day off of work when her death anniversary rolls around. Time can help you to smile when an old truck drives by, reminding you of the one your dad taught you how to drive. Don't get me wrong: the pain is still there. It always will be. Slowly but surely, however, I'm becoming used to this. I know that my sister is gone. I know that my father is gone. And I know that I'm still here.
I'm not constantly on autopilot. I can eat cookies and not feel that my life is full of darkness and despair. I have fallen in love with my now-husband. On occasion, I have even found myself enjoying a hike with my cousin's dog. I've been able to drive with my windows down, blasing that same song that my sister and I sang together in the car — one of the last in-person memories that I have of her. But it still makes me think of her. It always will.
Time is not going to solve your problems. Good people, faith in God, therapy, and laughter will help you get closer to healing. You are here on this earth. Learn, grow, and love. Your heart will always have something missing, but your life can still be full.

Yours truly,
McKay

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